Goodbye to Wordpress

I don’t know if anyone is still even on WordPress, but if they are, allow me to update you.

I have now lost a heap of weight, and started an Instagram account to document the last of my weight loss, and subsequent plastic surgery.

For anyone interested, check out my profile @rx_coffee

One of my pics went viral a few days ago, so I post the original here for you, as a last hoorah to this page.


1000 fat steps

I have been a bit fixated lately on knowing how well I would be doing by now without my excess weight. I’ve been at this for 6 months now, and I feel strong, but anything cardio always kills me. I wanted to know if that is because of the extra kilos, or if my lungs are just shit.

So I proposed the challenge to Royce of a workout with 40kg on him. Now Royce weighs a couple of kilos more than me, but I have 50kg+ to lose and he has 13kg so it evens out if he wears 2 20kg vests. Of course I was just thinking something like Helen, but Royce took the idea one step further, or 1000 steps!…………….Sorry, I had to!1471219_10152090332710803_932069562_n

During the Paleo challenge we did the 1000 steps in Melbourne, and it nearly killed me! It took me easily twice as long as everyone else, and my legs were shaking by the end of it. I had to constantly stop for breathers, but thankfully I never sat down. Royce stayed with me the whole time, but he looked like he was going for a leisurely stroll through the shops, whereas I looked like I was being chased by a pack of rabid dogs!


So Royce decided to do the 1000 steps again, wearing the 2 20kg weight vests, and because it sounded stupid and crazy, Chase decided he had to do it as well!

I can’t believe they did it! It means so much to me that they would put themselves through that just to better understand what I deal with every day. They even tried a few push ups at the top!


If you have someone who you are trying to help motivate to lose weight, I would definitely recommend something like this. I think its important to understand that if you can run faster or jump higher its not always because you’re stronger or fitter, sometimes its because they are carrying more than you realize.

That’s why I love when we do partner carries at the box! I weigh as much as a lot of the female pairs on my own, and its great to see that no matter how fit you are, you’re going to slow down with that much load on you

It was an amazing show of solidarity, It really inspired me to push harder. If I can keep up as well as I do now, Imagine what I will be capable of when I’m not carrying an extra person worth of weight!


They survived it, but it definitely wasn’t pleasant for them. I will always be grateful to them for helping me to put things into perspective.

I can’t wait until I’ve lost my weight and I can go back with 50kg on me and do the steps again!

Being told off by your coach


I’m not sure how it happened, and I didn’t even realize it until it was pointed out to me, but I started to get lazy with my training. Not RX’ing weight, not pushing as hard as I should, and generally just slacking off. So Ben comes up to me during a session and says “I want you to start training harder” and at first I think to myself “Like hell, I’m training as hard as I can!” I feel all offended and huffy. Then I look at my bar and I’m only doing 30kg thrusters when the RX weight is 40 (which I can do) and then I’m like “yeah fair call.”

I’m sure that is the function of a trainer, and the main reason I prefer CrossFit to a regular Gym. They keep you honest with your technique and effort.

Running in a WOD when its raining


Don’t know about you guys, but Ben would make us run in a monsoon.

“Keep running! Or, you know….swimming. Its just a bit of water!”

CrossFit Racism

I wanna talk about this article, and this article, and this article.

Let me give you a minute to read them…..

Done? OK good.

One thing that really irritates me about the fitness community is the constant bitching between the ‘gangs’. All gangs do it; Weight lifters think Globo’s are idiots, Boxers think MMA’s are wankers, Ballerina’s think tap dancers are fat….and everyone hates CrossFit.

CrossFit is the ugly step sister of a lot of other fitness regimes; Gymnastics, Boxing, Weightlifting, whatever else may be in there. And the other styles hate them for it.

bad xfit 5

So why with all the hate? There’s a really good article here that talks a bit about what people think of CrossFit, I really enjoyed the read and think it brought up some valid points. But I’m going to share my observations about the sport, community and public outcry.

“CrossFit is a cult”
In some ways that is true; they have their own language, behaviors and inside jokes, but that’s true of any activity. You will always find within a culture that similarly minded people will flock to each other. Base ball players talk in ‘on base percentages’ and and ‘runs’, marathon runners talk in ‘km’ and ‘energy supplements’. These are all things that I have no idea about, but that’s OK because I’m not part of that world.

“CrossFitters are always pressuring you to join”
Now that’s unfair. It’s true of any community that the people within it enjoy the company, and want to share it with others. Have you never been told you should try yoga or pole dancing? No one bats an eye when they’re told they should try organic food or skydiving, but as soon as someone suggests CrossFit everyone loses their shit!

bad xfit 3

“You have to be fit to do CrossFit”
Moot point, your reading this blog so you know better than that. Next.

“CrossFitters are all crazy intense”
I agree that videos like this are pretty accurate of what people expect a box to be like. But there are crazy fanatics in every sport. Yes it’s true that when you are in the middle of a really hard workout, people may be screaming and swearing around you. You may yourself be screaming, or swearing, or crying (like me). There are studies showing the effectiveness of swearing in relieving pain, and screaming is a natural reaction to great exertion. This does not mean that if you were to do CrossFit you are required to work to this point, it just means that others choose to, it depends entirely on your goals and reasons for being there.

bad xfit 2

“CrossFit Athletes don’t just do CrossFit”
Exactly! No good coach will ever tell you that you shouldn’t be doing other activities. They want you to run, bike, swim, do yoga, play sport. Most of the top athletes also do at least weightlifting and yoga. Have you ever heard of a runner that doesn’t lift weights, or a swimmer that doesn’t work on mobility? No one activity is the be all and end all of athleticism. And on that note;

“CrossFit isn’t real gymnastics/weightlifting”
Precisely, it doesn’t try to be! The point of CrossFit is to develop physical ability across a wide range of activities and movements. We lift weights because its helps with overall strength and speed, we do handstand pushups because they work on balance and coordination, we do kipping pull ups because it helps us to work up to muscle ups. But above all else we do these movements because they are fun, and a great workout. So why should it matter if these movements were not developed in CrossFit? No one ever claimed they were! Pump classes never get slammed for using a barbell, and no one ever makes fun of boxers for using a children’s toy to develop cardio?

bad xfit 6

“CrossFit causes injuries”
Bullshit. CrossFit does not cause injuries, people cause injuries. There have only been 2 injuries in the box I train at and they both happened because they weren’t doing what they were told. CrossFit does not CAUSE injuries, it exposes weaknesses in your body. If you don’t listen to your body and check your ego, then you are going to hurt yourself. Lets not forget this is a fast paced highly dynamic exercise format that uses more muscles than any other workout. If you don’t understand the movement, drop the weight right back and focus on technique. If you are getting a stitch, walk it out. If something doesn’t feel right, talk to your coach and they will modify the movement for you. That being said, a CrossFit box is only as good as its coaches, and that segways nicely into my next point.

bad xfit 4

“CrossFit coaches don’t know what they’re doing”
I take offense to this one because my coach is wonderful, and a stickler for technique. I have heard him tell people to drop a bar or bail out of a lift if they even start to show poor technique. He refuses to let you use weight if you don’t know the movement, we have 1 dedicated technique class and 1 dedicated weightlifting class every week so we are constantly working on proper form. As I said above, a CrossFit box is only as good as it’s coaches, and a shit coach will have a shit box and by extension, shit athletes who will probably injure themselves. Again, this is true of any activity. A bad football coach can cause death by teaching the players dangerous tackles, a bad choir coach can murder a song. Make sure you do your homework, find out how experienced your coach is, read reviews, talk to former athletes and make an informed decision about which box you will go to.

bad xfit

And finally, the jewel in the crown of the CrossFit hating community…

“CrossFit causes Rhabdo”
This one is so funny to me, but I am going to answer it anyway. People think Rhabdomyolysis is something new that has been drastically on the rise since the main streaming of CrossFit, But and I quote: ‘A search of the National Library of Medicine (PubMed) using the keywords “exercise-induced rhabdomyolysis,” revealed over 146 hits dating back to 1970, long before the days of CrossFit’ – The Scientific Rebuttal to an Anecdotal Claim about CrossFit’s “Dirty Little Secret” .
WebMD has a good explanation of what this condition is, and its causes. And if you’re willing to read a very passionate (albeit biased and unsupported) article like this one, then in an effort to get all the facts you should also read this scientific report compiled by an unbiased doctor on the facts and figures surrounding CrossFit induced Rhabdo. The conclusion? CrossFit does not cause Rhabdo,very few people have developed Rhabdo after doing CrossFit, but there is always more to the story than that. This is not a prevalent issue, its not as though every time you step into a box you’re playing Russian roulette with your life. Statistically its more dangerous to drive a car, or fly a plane, or go for a swim or take a bath. Some people are predisposed to developing Rhabdo, and I would never downplay the seriousness of this condition or the effect it can have on the people who develop it. But it can be brought on by being inadequately hydrated, drinking alcohol, poor kidney function, doing drugs, being overheated, or crush injury. These are not CrossFit exclusive factors. Please talk to a doctor before you join a CrossFit gym, you should be doing that before you start any drastic lifestyle shift, but lets not lose sight of the big picture here. I have a family member who was recently put in hospital and diagnosed with Rhabdo…he’s never even heard of CrossFit.

All this CrossFit racism really irritates me. Why is it OK to talk poorly of any form of exercise that people might try to get healthier or happier? If any of those negative articles stopped even 1 person from trying CrossFit, the authors should be ashamed of themselves. In this day and age where obesity related illnesses are sky rocketing, depression, diabetes and heart disease are on the rise, and our life expectancies are going down, I believe that any step in the right direction is great. The last thing an unsure, unhealthy person needs, is articles like these trying to convince them that if they go to CrossFit they will ‘catch’ a horrible disease that will slowly and painfully kill them. How hard is it to get support from family and friends, when they Google CrossFit and the first thing they read stirs irrational fears about muscles melting on every athlete that does a class?

Now I’m not trying to convince you to join, do whatever makes you happy and healthy. I’m just trying to clear up all this stupid community backlash. I was very wary of doing a CrossFit class, I shared a lot of the same concerns I have detailed above. Personally CrossFit has changed my life, I finally have found an exercise that I look forward to every day. A community of really supportive, down to earth people who are dedicated to improving themselves and each other. But if you’d rather be a body builder, a triathlete, or a yogi, more power to you. I wish you every success in your chosen lifestyle, but please, live and let live.

P.S. My fellow Xfitters, you are not innocent here either, stop bagging on Globo gyms and body builders!

Inspiration = Chad Mackay

So its 1 week into the Paleo Challenge and Ben has organised for Chad Mackay to come to the box for a demo and Q&A. I’m not ashamed to say that I geeked out a bit (a lot) and was overly excited for it!

553183_439988706106904_1356864711_n For my fellow Aussies who don’t know who Chad Mackay is, please promptly slap yourself in the face for not being up to date on CrossFit news! For anyone abroad who doesn’t know; Chad Mackay is the 11th fittest man in the world, highest ranked for male Aussies at the 2013 CrossFit Games, and recently represented Australia on Team World at the 2013 CrossFit Invitational.

He was in Melbourne for the Schwartz’s Challenge, and Ben got him to come in for an evening to run through snatch technique, work up to a heavy lift, and do a Q&A with us.


It was awesome! When you see the CrossFit Elite its usually with other athletes, but to see him in person was a bizarre experience. He’s SO MUCH bigger up close than you would think! His legs are like tree trunks and he’s got a huge frame. Funny thing is that he was a very down to earth, easy to talk to person. He answered all our questions with real thought, not just like he had answers memorised to parrot out when asked the same things over and over, and he was very interested in our own experiences as well.

He showed us the exercises he uses to speed up his snatch catch and improve his squat, he talked about his nutrition and programming, and how he handles his recovery. He posed for photos and hung around to chat with us after the session.

It was a great, inspirational night for everyone involved, and while I was inspired, it also kind of had the opposite effect on me.

Chad Mackay is an amazing athlete, hands down, but he spends 99% of his time working on his performance. Everything he eats is carefully selected, life scheduled for optimum sleep, recovery and programming…. Wouldn’t it be exhausting?

1425763_440005679438540_1526286382_n I used to love toying with the idea of competing once I’ve lost all my weight. As I’ve said before I have a bit (a lot) of an obsessive personality and tend to go head first, 100% crazy obsessed with anything I enjoy. CrossFit was one of those things for me, I thought I would dedicate my life to becoming a better athlete, eventually start competing and try to go to the Games. (Don’t laugh, you’ve had that thought too!) Maybe I would become a trainer, or open my own box, the CrossFit sky was the limit.

But now…I don’t know.

Maybe the shine is off the apple, maybe I am appreciating CrossFit for what it is, maybe Chad Mackay outlined what that life is really like and now I don’t know if that is for me? I’m still super competitive, and will probably be swept up in it when the games swing around again, but for now I think I enjoy it too much to want to be consumed by it.

Chris Spealer wrote a great article here and it talks about the different mindsets and lifestyles required for each level of CrossFitter. I think its a great read, and probably true of just about any sport, check it out.


I love CrossFit and never want to stop. Its changed my life, and my views on nutrition and fitness. I am constantly amazed by what my body can do, and every time I complete a WOD I thought I couldn’t do I am inspired to try harder on the next one. Run a little bit faster, lift a little bit heavier, get a little bit better every day. I am depressed when I have to miss a WOD, and am getting to the stage now where I can find a WOD fun, not just a brutal form of torture.

BUT… I don’t know if I ever want to dedicate my life to becoming elite and start hating it for the amount of time and energy it sucks up. I think I could just be happy being obsessed with it as I am, but still having a life outside the CrossFit universe.

Who knows what the future holds for me, I’m trying not to get hung up on it.


Thank you to Chad Mackay for sharing a bit of his world with us, and a BIG thank you to Ben for putting this great experience together for us!

These great photos came from Grant Hawkins Photo

30 Day Paleo Challenge

Ben has put together the 30 day Paleo challenge at our box, so Royce and I joined up. Its really well done with bonuses and punishments, contests, seminars and sponsors… and a naturopath who does a body composition test.

So I go in to get my bio impedance test done, the naturopath takes my weight, height and wrist size then she hooks me up to the machine to get my reading.

For those of you who have never had this done, it uses the resistance from current being passed through your body, along with all of the previously taken measurements to give you an idea of your whole body composition eg. water, fat, muscle. Ive had it done once before and found it quite helpful, because previous doctors had told me to get to 55-60kg, but the bio impedance test set my ideal weight at 75kg.

This particular test is different however because it also gives you an idea of your muscle quality.

Now before I launch into this rant let me just say something… I know how much weight I have to lose. I know what my ideal body weight is and I am a realist about what will be involved in getting there. That is not the issue here, clear? Ok good, here we go…


My body composition, ideal weight and muscle mass were all around what I expected, but my muscle quality?

Well, basically my muscles aren’t working properly! They’re not firing properly, they’re malnourished and dehydrated!

She took one look at my results, turned to me and says “You must just be tired all the time!”.

I have been doing CrossFit 6 days a week for 5 months now and my diet has been good. Not amazing, I still eat the occasional piece of chocolate or bread, but as a rule my diet has been about 80% Paleo for the last 5 months.. In that time I have only lost around 4kg, which I consoled myself with the old “muscle is heavier than fat” and kept telling myself that my muscle was building and not to stress about what the scales say. I have lost quite a bit off my measurements and I am strong, so I had always rested my hat on the fact that underneath all this fat was a super strong she hulk just waiting for the scales to tip in her favor, at which point I would start shedding fat like a cat sheds fur on all the best furniture.


But apparently not, and Ive got to say, I’m crushed! I really don’t even know how to process this!

The naturopath said it could be my diet, so I’ve gotta do this Paleo Challenge thing really strict for a while and then get re-tested.

Obviously I understand that I could just be one of those people who can’t get away with cheating on the diet even once, but it really doesn’t seem fair. If my muscles aren’t functioning properly, how can they burn fat effectively? And if diet is to blame, then how come Royce and I eat exactly the same stuff and he has ‘Above average” muscle quality, and 10 extra kilos of it at that!?!


I’m really upset (could you tell?). Maybe I’m just over reacting, I can’t jump to conclusions until after my next composition test, but I feel like the past 5 months have just been a waste.

Day 1

Crossfit Sisters Unite!


Image from Thrustr

I’ve been doing CrossFit for a while now and the thing I love most about going is the support you receive from fellow athletes. The men are great, but I’ve always found guys in general are more easy going and willing to support each other. Females however as a group are a pretty nasty, cut throat breed and can quickly make you wish you had easy access to heavy artillery.

Any other place I’ve ever been to try and get healthier there is always the judgmental bitches that make you feel like shit just for turning up, sometimes that’s even the trainer your assigned! You know the ones, they gather in little groups, spend most of their time checking themselves out in the mirror, and look at you like “Why are you even here?”

CrossFit chicks however are a breed apart, we understand that we are all suffering together to get better, stronger, faster. And while there will always be a little healthy competition amongst everyone you train with (Tracey I’m coming for you!) it never turns spiteful. There’s no sideways looks or rolled eyes, no shit talk or backstabbers. Everyone helps each other where they can, pushes them to do better, and supports them to the bitter end.

It’s not uncommon (always bloody happens) for me to be the last person running, and have 3 people running with me after they’ve finished their own workout just to help me through. It is not unheard of for me to stay and help the next session with motivation, clearing plates, or helping them in and out of the pull ups bands. Its even happened that one of us will do the workout again in the next class because its a partner WOD and there’s an uneven number of people.

At the end of the day, we are all going to suffer together and we have the utmost respect for one another for surviving this crazy thing we put ourselves through.

Solidarity Ladies!

Tough Mudder: A fat chicks perspective

Here it is…Ive been dreaming about it, stressing over it, studying the course map, and practically making myself sick with worry. I seriously considered cancelling my registration, but my work sister convinced me that if I bailed out now I’d never forgive myself. She was right, and I decided that regardless of the outcome I would go and give it my all and complete as may obstacles as I could.

So I put on a somewhat brave face, suck it up and commit to the experience 100%. Of course I can’t sleep at all the night before, and on the drive out there I couldn’t eat anything because I was so nervous!

I’m not sure what I could possibly be worried out about?


Some of the obstacles were worrying me (no idea how I’m meant to climb over a 12 foot wall) , but I think mostly the distance is freaking me out. 18k is by far the longest I’ve ever traveled on foot.

We turn up and head into the grounds and there’s Tough Mudder paraphernalia hanging everywhere, officials and volunteers grinning at us menacingly, and I honestly feel like I’m walking to the gallows. We just have time to sign in and take a quick photo before they’re yelling over the PA that its time to start. I swallow my stomach, stash my bag and head to the start line…..and that’s when I realize I should never of come.



WTF!?!? Did you know this? I sure as fuck didn’t! Its like a test! “You must be this fit to enter.” Am I the only one who thinks that shit should be on the waiver?
I’m so pissed off! One of the main obstacles I was worried about was the wall climbs and now I have to do one before I can even start the race!aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh_zps6394805e
Not a good start, Royce shoves me over the wall and I very ungracefully drop to the ground on other side and start listening to the opening speech. It’s all about comraderie and mental grit and the bond that forms between mudders for life…I’m not hearing any of it. All I can think is; “I’m going to die, I’m going to die. Whats that??? Oh yes that’s right, I’m going to die!”

So the horn sounds and the stampede take off, we’ve come as part of a group that has split into 2; Me and Royce, and the fit people. Ben and Georgia stick with us, which is a good thing because I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t of kept going otherwise; 3k in you would of found me on the ground, fetal, covered in mud, dramatically calling to Royce “Go on without me! I’m done for, save yourself!!!”

Its 4k (for-fucking ever!) before we get to the first obstacle, a wall climb 😦 and surprisingly with a LOT of help from Royce and Ben I manage to get over! At one point I’m literally balancing on one toe on Royce’s hands, with half my body desperately clinging to the damn wall, thinking to myself “Is this how I break my neck?” Of course Ben just muscle ups over the damn things like their speed bumps. No time to recover from the adrenaline, were off again.

I have no idea how people are running this thing, there’s slippery, ankle deep mud and potholes everywhere, and I’m just waiting for the minute I step in one funny and snap my ankle like a twig. That will be great, how the fuck would I get back to the car? Can’t think like that, just keep going.

The next obstacle is the kiss of mud, typical barbed wire mud crawl pit. Quite fun, but more difficult than I though it would be, they’re spraying it down with water which I’m actually grateful for because by this stage my calves are cramping quite badly and I’m hoping the cold water will help.

water bottle

We soldier on, every now and then we cross paths with the fast group we came with and it gives us false hope. “Wow I guess were not that far behind!” We are, Were very far behind. I’m exclusively walking by this point so I feel like shit for holding everyone back. They’re not leaving me, but I can see that they want to run.

We get to trench warfare and I’m excited about this one, I love mud and getting dirty, and this ones dark and claustrophobic as well so I had a blast. Half way through the tunnel you literally cannot see a thing, its so dark you just have to feel your way through and keep crawling till you see light.

I had to carry Royce for 100m during the warrior carry, which was pretty funny, then we had the Arctic Enema. I wasn’t too worried about this one, its just cold water, how bad could it be?


FUCKING BAD!! Let me tell you something interesting that happens during this obstacle. You wait in line for your turn, climb up the ladder and slide in. Its pretty cold (-38 degrees on the day), but your tough so you suck it up and wade to the divider, take a deep breath and dive under.
And that’s when it happens… your brain shuts down, your muscles seize up, you have the overwhelming urge to gasp. You swim to the surface and start gasping like your dying, and wade to the other end of the pit. Your limbs are numb, you can only think about climbing out, but because your muscles have seized and your numb its physically impossible for you to drag yourself out. You start freaking out because your sure your going to die in there and keep half jumping on the edge until Royce jumps BACK in and helps you get out!

We carry some wood, which is a lot harder than it should be, then its onto the cage crawl. I loved this obstacle! Lie on your back and swim through tunnels? Please, I just loved having a second to rest my legs!

More walking, more barbed wire and mud pits, its all very exhausting and every step is like torture.

Then we get to Water logged, which is basically over unders of big muddy logs. This one is really difficult because there’s no hand holds! I actually had to use the corners to get over, and the lovely guy that was manning the obstacle was hosing them down and helping me over.

Another great, big, long, huge walk between obstacles and then its onto the mud mile.
OMG, this one was so fucking fun that I would go back just to do it again! Its basically a series of pits and hills that you need to get to the other side of. Your grabbing onto anyone in arms reach, they’re grabbing you, everyone’s pushing each other over, its kind of like a non sexual mud orgy. By the end your covered head to toe in mud, and smiling from ear to ear.

Something that was a lot worse than I thought it would be was the underwater tunnels.

I thought they would be fine, I have no fear of water or swimming, or even swimming under things. Unfortunately I had not factored in the extreme cramping in my calves and the effect of freezing water on them! They completely stopped working! Half way under the first tunnel I was sure I was going to drown (which apparently I am afraid of) and was freaking out by the time I broke the surface. I nearly skipped the rest, I turned to Royce and told him I had to get out, that I couldn’t swim anymore. He told me to go under and keep my legs straight, and he just pushed me like a dart to the other side!

 My hips are killing me, my calves are cramping so bad I keep needing to stop and stretch them out, and guess what? Were not even half way through.

Its about 3hrs in by the time we reach the boa constrictor, and as I’ve mentioned before, I was sure I was gonna get stuck like a cork!

I even asked the official if I would get stuck and she’s like “I donno”…(looks at me, then at the tube)… “probably not?”


Well with that vote of confidence let me jump right in!! insert sarcasm here

I do jump right in and its actually fine, the pipe is quite wide and slippery so its like a slide on the way down, and then there’s rope going up the tubes to help pull yourself out. The rope in my lane was broken tho so I had to push in front of a guy in eye deep mud to switch and get out!

The one obstacle I am really upset about is walk the plank. Jumping from heights into water is something that has always scared me, even though I have no fear of heights, or jumping, or water. So I get to the obstacle, and I’ve been psyching myself up for it, I’ve come this far, I can do this…Except that I cant! the platform is about 5 meters off the ground and there’s only 3 tiny strips of dowel hammered into the wood as a makeshift ladder to get to the top. So you need to bring your foot up to your hip sideways and pull yourself up, which I should point out I can usually do…just not after 13k. So I tried a couple of times, Royce even came back down and tried to help me up, (which left Ben and Georgia thinking Royce had drowned in the water because he suddenly disappeared) but I just couldn’t do it. I like to think had I been able to climb up that monstrosity I would of jumped, but I could of ended up chickening out and climbing back down crying just as easily.

And that was the last obstacle I did for a while.

We got the the Berlin walls, but I had no chance, I just helped the others over and walked around. Then Ben and Georgia split off to run the rest and Royce and I walked, which was really good because around the 15k mark I had a complete mental break down.

At the 15k mark, the track started snaking back and forward over really soft white pebbles. So you can see the finish line, even though you still have 3k left, but only about 500m if you walked as the crow flies. That fucked with my head big time. I was in serious pain, my calves were completely cramped solid and my hips felt like they had fallen out of the sockets. I had been walking for well over 4 hrs, I was hot and tired and cranky and just battling through the overwhelming urge to lie down.


You know when you exercise really hard, or spend a day on your feet, and just NEED with every fiber of your being to sit down? I was experiencing that, but about laying down! All I could think about was just laying on the ground and collecting myself. I kept having to kneel or squat down to stop from falling over. I felt like the best possible option was for me to just tuck and roll from standing and sleep on the god awful white pebbles wherever I landed. I kept crying hysterically, and I couldn’t think straight, I was just a sweaty, muddy, exhausted wreck.

Royce kept me going with encouraging words, We were moving slower than an 80 year old in a market, but we kept moving.

Royce did the electric eel, which by the way did NOT look fun! He’s a tough guy and he was yelling and gritting his teeth, and every time he was zapped it let out a huge crack that was audible from the other side of the pit! He did the monkey bars, and tried Everest, but by that time he was ruined as well.


Then we crawled through Electroshock therapy to avoid….you know….being shocked, and we were finally finished! It took 5 hrs and 20 mins, it was the most painful and difficult thing Ive ever done, but we were finished and proud to have survived! We are so relieved, we hug and laugh, the announcer is yelling through the PA “Congratulations, your finished, your mudders now!” we walk through the last bit of mud, round the corner, and then I see it……

are you fuckin kidding me


I point to the wall and yell at the guy “If were finished, what the fuck is this then?!”  He says “its just a small wall because we couldn’t cut the fence”.

I reply, in a voice far removed from my own, and more akin to the devils….