When you find out the WOD has heaps of burpees



The Worm

OK, so Ive been putting off posting this one because its painful to talk about, which has thrown me behind with my other posts, but I cant put it off forever so here it is.

The Worm

3 rounds of 30 squats + 30 lateral burpees

Catch is, we work in teams with a weighted rope on our shoulder and all squats and burpees need to be in unison or Ben calls no rep. Video link above if you want to see the workout done at the CrossFit games.

I love and hate group workouts; I love them when I can contribute and they push me to work harder than I normally do, but I hate them when I drag the team down. And with this one I dragged the team so far I may as well of just been a lead weight around their necks!

Here’s the problem; I cant do burpees properly yet. I can drop to the ground, but I cant jump up, I need to climb back up, which is really time consuming and difficult!

Our team was very good on unison, probably the better of the day, we got very few no reps, but we were slow. Painfully slow, (mainly painful for me) because everyone had to slow down to my speed! So I’m pushing desperately as fast as I can, and everyone else is able to breathe between reps…..No breathing for Christine tho!

By the end of the workout I was screaming and swearing and crying so heavily I could barely see, and after we carried the rope back inside and called time, I collapsed onto the ground and openly wept. I felt disgusting, fat and useless, and ashamed of the way I slowed everyone else down. I didn’t want people to congratulate me with pity in their eyes,  I just wanted to crawl into a corner and wallow in my shame.

This was a low point for me, this was the first time at CrossFit where I felt as fat as I am. Usually I am able to do things that people my size can’t (or won’t), but today I felt my weight. I felt every chocolate and every second helping Ive eaten, every skipped workout and every lazy night spent on the couch. I felt the gravity of my situation, the person I should of been was overshadowed by the person Ive let myself become, and the shear magnitude of the task of losing all this weight was suddenly thrown into perspective.

It has been weeks since this workout, I am writing this now looking back with hindsight on my side… and still sucks.


2012 Schwartz’s Crossfit Challenge

(17Min Timecap)
30x High Hang Power Cleans (50/35) scaled to 20kg
30x Step Ups (40/30- 24″/20″) scaled to a small plyo box
20x Calorie Row
15x Lateral Burpees
50x Double Unders
15x Lateral Burpees
20x Calorie Row
30x Step Ups
30x Muscle Ups

This one was tough. I only managed to make it to the last row by the time cap, and by that stage I was begging for the timer to run out, or a bullet. The thing I learned about calorie rows is the faster you row, the quicker you burn calories. So if your a slow rower like me, the 20 calories takes a while to accumulate. And lateral burpees? What asshole thought of those?

Evil coach #1 “yeah burpees suck and all, but how about we add an element of danger to the whole thing?”

Evil coach #2 “We could make them juggle knives at the same time?”

Evil coach #1 “No I’ve got it, well make them jump over a loaded barbell between reps!”

Evil coach #2 “That’s brilliant! that way as they get tired if they don’t pick their feet up high enough they’ll trip and die!”

Evil laugh in unison “Mwahaaahaaaa!”

Yuk. I’m not sure whats worse; that I keep going back, or that I’m starting to get some sort of twisted satisfaction out of voluntarily doing these godawful workouts!